I tricked myself into falling in love with you and I succeeded. Then I tried to trick myself into falling out of love with you and I failed.. miserably.
I can’t wait till I’m able to leave this place. To break away from the confinement of this city and of its people. I just want to go across the nation and leave the ruined friendships, stupid mistakes, unspoken words, anger, and broken heart behind. I want the endless tears to finally stop falling and to find true contentment and self satisfaction in my own life.
I feel like I have no purpose here. No meaning or significance to anyone around me. I want to feel wanted. But this is not the time and place for that. So I need to leave.
I can’t wait till I’m able to leave this place. To break away from the confinement of this city and of its people…
I’m so tired of your inconsistent attitude.
If you want me around, then you do. If not then you don’t.
Such a waste of my time trying to figure you out.. Ugh
Before I had my own license, he always took me places. Places we needed to be or places we wanted to go to. Of all places and with all the time in the fucking world.. he always chose to “talk” in the car whenever we were on our way somewhere. Whether it was a rant, critique, or a simple reminder of my importance to him. His voice was gentle yet projecting. His words always kind with a little sting to them. He always had a contagious smile that still seemed sad and laughed a laugh that brightened my day yet it sounded so weak. Despite all of the small downfalls of his actions and words his voice was gentle, his words kind, his smile contagious, his laugh brightening, and his existence important. And always .. his words and actions always sincere. I’ve fallen in love with him.
Just when I was trying to forget about you
I just had to hear the kind and touching words you once spoke of me.
Thanks. Thanks a lot.
My fears used to control my life. But now those fears? They give me a reason to move forward. To be a better person in every aspect so those fears don’t become reality.
You’ve become more than a friend to me and I’m scared that my feelings will ruin this friendship. I’m sorry for my feelings. I’m sorry for my thoughtlessness. But I just really want you to know that you’re the last string attached to me that’s keeping me sane. So please don’t leave my side. Because I might just turn away from everything I once believed in and run. Run far, far away.
Whether it is real or not, can we just stay in this place? In this calmness and peace. I need it. I think we both do.